Saturday 4:00 PM: Accelerator Golf Tournament (note: high-impact protective equipment required for participants and spectators).
Monday 6:00 PM: Volleyball Regular Season Game 14, Malaria Mosquitoes vs. False Vacuums.
Tuesday (all day): Students enrolled in Electronic Combat class will be attacked when they least expect it as part of their midterm exam. Be prepared.
Tuesday 3:42 PM: Geolocation Team practice will be held about 31,000 inches south-southwest of the administration building.
Thursday 4:00 AM: Tactical Gardening Semifinals (curfew waiver required).
Friday 6:30 PM: Football.
Saturday 10:00 AM: The PILSSRTA Lockpicking club regular meeting will be held inside the vault of the Central Iowa Credit Union (AKA the Interplanetary Economics classroom).
Next month: The Urban Camouflage class will be hosting a field trip to the DiPiney mall. If you wish to attend, enroll in class today!